Conversations about money, relationships, and the future can be difficult. One of the trickiest conversations parents face is how to talk to their adult children about getting a prenuptial agreement (prenup) or a cohabitation agreement. These agreements are not just for celebrities or the ultra-wealthy. They are practical, protective tools that help couples plan for the future with clarity and fairness.
If your child is preparing to marry or move in with a partner, you may be wondering how to raise the topic without sounding controlling, judgmental, or intrusive. The good news is that there are respectful, thoughtful ways to approach the subject that can strengthen your relationship with your child and empower them to make informed decisions.
This guide will help you understand what prenups and cohabitation agreements are, why they matter, and how to start the conversation with your adult children in a way that is supportive, non-judgmental, and constructive.
A prenuptial agreement is a written contract that couples enter into before marriage. It sets out how they will handle property, debt, and finances if the marriage ends through separation, divorce, or death. Prenups are legally binding if done correctly, which typically means they are signed voluntarily, both parties share financial disclosure, and each person understands the agreement.
Prenups can cover:
Contrary to popular belief, prenups aren’t just about planning for divorce – they’re about creating a framework for clarity and fairness during a relationship, and if it ends.
A cohabitation agreement is similar to a prenup but is designed for couples who live together without being married. In Canada, cohabiting couples often develop significant legal and financial ties. In many provinces, living together for a certain number of years can give rise to rights and responsibilities similar to those of married couples.
A cohabitation agreement can cover:
For couples who are not planning to marry but are moving in with a partner, a cohabitation agreement is a powerful tool to reduce conflict and uncertainty later on.
As a parent, you have probably witnessed the consequences of breakups among family, friends, or colleagues. You may also be aware of how complicated and expensive separation can be without a written agreement. Your adult child may not have this perspective, or they may assume that agreements are only necessary for people with large fortunes.
There are a lot of great reasons why you may want to start this conversation with your child:
These are all great reasons to have a conversation about prenups or cohabitation agreements with your child. The challenge in this situation often lies in how to raise the subject with your child in a way that feels supportive and collaborative.
Parents often hesitate to raise this subject because they do not want to:
These are valid concerns. This is a conversation that requires trust, sensitivity, and at least a little bit of tact. The key is to approach the conversation with empathy, respect, and an emphasis on empowerment rather than criticism.
Before you talk to your adult child, it helps to prepare. Here are some steps to set yourself up for success:
Here are strategies for making the conversation constructive and respectful.
Start by expressing your love and support for your child. Make it clear that your concern comes from a place of wanting the best for them. For example:
“I love you and I want you to have a strong, healthy future with your partner. Something that might help is having a written agreement so that everything is clear and fair.”
By framing it in terms of care, you lower the risk of your child feeling judged.
One of the biggest barriers to prenups and cohabitation agreements is stigma. Many people think these agreements mean a lack of trust or confidence in the relationship. Reassure your child that agreements are becoming more common and are seen as a responsible step.
You could say:
“Lots of couples are choosing prenups and cohabitation agreements today. They are not about expecting a breakup, they are about being clear and fair in how you both want to handle things.”
Frame the agreement as something that protects not just your child, but their partner too. Stress that the goal is fairness and mutual respect.
“Having an agreement actually protects both of you. It means that if life throws you curveballs, you already know what you agreed on, instead of facing stress and uncertainty later.”
Sometimes it helps to connect the idea to real-world experiences. Without gossiping or oversharing, you might mention a story about how a friend’s separation became complicated because there was no agreement, or how an agreement helped another family avoid conflict.
Stories can make the concept more relatable and less abstract.
Remind your child that the decision is ultimately theirs. Your role is to suggest and support, not to dictate.
“I know this is your relationship and your choice. I just wanted to share this idea because it might help protect you both. Whatever you decide, I support you.”
This reassures them that you respect their autonomy.
Your child may be more receptive if they hear the information from a neutral professional or a trusted tool. You can point them to resources like Jointly’s online platform, which offers accessible, affordable options for creating agreements.
“Jointly has a really helpful online tool that explains what agreements cover and walks you through creating one. It might be worth looking at together with your partner.”
If you want to make it as easy as possible, you can gift your child a Jointly agreement by registering here.
Your child may react in different ways. Here are some common responses and how you can handle them:
While difficult, talking to your adult children about prenups and cohabitation agreements can bring several benefits:
By approaching the topic with care, you are not just protecting your child. You are also modeling how to handle challenging conversations with empathy and respect.
Bringing up the idea of a prenup or cohabitation agreement with your adult children can feel daunting. But with the right approach, it can be an empowering and positive conversation. By leading with care, normalizing the idea, emphasizing fairness, and encouraging independence, you can support your child in making thoughtful choices about their future.
At Jointly, we believe that agreements are not about expecting failure. They are about building stronger relationships by creating clarity, reducing conflict, and fostering mutual respect. If you or your child want to learn more, visit getjointly.ca to explore accessible, affordable tools that make relationship agreements easier than ever.
Amanda BaronI'm Amanda, one of the founders of Jointly. I've been working as a lawyer in British Columbia for over ten years. I have a deep commitment to access to justice and building stronger, more resilient communities. I’ve always believed that everyone deserves affordable, clear, and accessible legal solutions to navigate life’s big moments.